Golf
Wamboin has a somewhat different golf course where the 18 fairways are spread over four properties and the Bingley Way Community Centre. All putting surfaces on our golf course, except for one carefully manicured green, are sand greens.
On the first Sunday of each month we meet at the Community Hall in Bingley Way (usually at 12.15pm for a 12.30pm start) to sort out the competition. First time golfers and children are welcome to try their skills. We hit off on different holes to ensure a more even finish time.
Then it is back to the Hall where tall stories and presentations are mixed with nibblies and drinks. Partners, friends and relatives of the golfers also join in this social activity.
Contact
Ken Gordon 0455 839 840
June Competition Results
Sunday, 1 June. Winter. And as usual Ms Correspondent beat me to the pinch-and-punch. But what a beautiful day to start the chilly season! Players gathered at the Hall to contest the Solstice Pennant. Sadly, your correspondent was not among them. His winter of discontent, as my old chum the Bard would say, was ushered in with a dicky knee. I was thus forced to observe play from Mahogany Ridge. It was, happily, an easy limp to the 19th. The day was sponsored by members of the Urquhart and Crafter clan whom we thank for the prizes and a spread to which mere words fail to do justice. Play was determined by strokes adjusted for handicap.
Back in the cocoon of the dear old Hall, as the captain consulted Deep Thought, we reviewed, inter alia, the aftermath of the great franchise. First the Coalition lost the election then they lost the plot—at least the Country kids did. Feeling his oats after beating someone who can’t spell ‘caravan’ for the leadership, Little David Proud made new Libs leader, Sussan Ley, an offer she could refuse (and did). We settled back eagerly anticipating the clash of the dinosaurs but it didn’t happen. The Libs accepted ‘in principle’ four things I can’t remember but the Nats think very important. For ‘in principle’ read ‘maybe one day perhaps’. Member for the ACT seat of Bean, Howard Hughes MP, narrowly retained his seat and will presumably go back into diapause until the next election.
We all know why we’ll be hit with electricity cost increases of around 8% when the CPI is comfortably within the RBA’s 2–3% range—it’s because power isn’t in the CPI ‘basket of goods’. Insurance is, but because it’s a cross-subsidy—policy holders cover each other—the underwriters set premiums on their assessment of the risk, e.g.the expected cost of the recent floods. You might think they’re tickling us but you’ll never prove it. Energy should be easier to price. But it seems that governments didn’t plan for an orderly transition to renewables: they let all our gas be sold to foreigners. So the AEMO (an oxymoron if ever there was one) isn’t playing with a full hand.
What do you think of those crafty Ukrainians remotely ‘dismantling’ forty of Russia’s big Tupolev long range bombers? Using, it seems, the protocol established by Putin himself—agree to a cease fire then break it—the drones did their work while Pootey was dithering with something else. The worry is what he’ll do now.
Who’d be Marcia Langton? Intelligent, knowledgeable, articulate, practical. Yet she continues to be hammered from all sides. There are the commercial interests with eyes on native title lands in remote areas and the bigots who just don’t like blackfellas. But the unkindest cut must be the crazy mob of divisive indigenous activists like Blak Sovereign Movement. A report to the NT government suggested that the former commissioner of the NT ICAC “had a thing for pretty girls”. Hmmm. We wondered what it was.
Have you got your tickets for the Wamboin Fireball (19 July, celebrating 40 years since the big fire)? Some of us wanted to call it the Wamboin Gala but that was vetoed on the grounds that it might be confused with the end-of-season dinner of the Googong Galahs RLC (Up the Pink and Grey!) scheduled for the same night.
Winners & Grinners
The captain restored order with threats of deportation to El Salvador. He welcomed Hansen family patriarch, Kai Hansen, visiting from Narooma. Ted’s Joke was about cursing on the golf course—amusing but not applicable to Wamboin golfers. The googly ball went to Tim Barter for a drive off Keith’s Dam Hole which featured the intervention of a rock (in Wamboin?). The dummy spitters were Tim for another encounter with a rock (he must carry them with him) and Rob Gorham for perniciously erasing Pete Harrison’s name from the Long Drive marker (tsk, tsk, putrid bad form). It was then passed on to Vicki Still for safe keeping.
LD and NTP ball winners were Col Urquhart 3, Ken Gordon 2, Tim Barter 2, Vicki Still and Cam Hansen. No juniors comp this month but we understand young Robbie Thompson is doing very well in open tournaments around the country. Winner of the nine hole comp was Cam Hansen 43/29 from Rob Gorham 42/32 and Ken Gordon 37/33. Out of a wide field came the winner of the hotly contested 18 hole comp, Paul Griffin 85/68, from Tim Barter 78/69 and Vicki Still 89/69. Well done, golfers all!
Next month, July, join us for the EOFY Medallion kicking off at the Hall at 12.15pm (sign in) on Sunday, 6 July for the 12.30pm cannon. Meanwhile, those of us who think the accused in the beef wellington case is as guilty as hell should heed the words of my old buddy Aristotle, translated by a Roman lawyer as ‘in dubio pro reo’. It is the basis of the Criminal Law.
Larry King, intermittent golfer
May Competition Results
Thunday, May the fourth go with you. What a beautiful day it was! Temperate and sunny with a zephyr wafting the bouquet of Autumn and its falling leaves around the course. Normally we would be playing for Ye Olde Merrie Monthe of Maye Trophye. Instead we brought forward the GST Memorial Handicap, sponsored by Keith France and Kathy Handel (whom we thank for the prizes and refreshments) in view of their imminent trek North. The rules of the day’s play, an Ambrose event for teams of two, were simple. At the end of 9 or 18 holes the team’s total strokes are tallied. The team handicap is then deducted from the gross score. It is calculated thus: both players’ usual handicaps are summed and divided by 2 or 4 depending on the comp contested. That figure is increased by 10% (the GST factor). The product is then increased by a further 10% (the US tariff factor). That number is then deducted from the team’s gross score. Got it? Scratching our heads we took to the field.
Back amongst the corflutes, as the captain pressed the buttons, the election didn’t exactly dominate conversation. Labor’s remarkable win took second place to the Drivel Fest of the various campaigns. As my old buddy, Al Capp said: “As long as no one knows where no one stands, the country’s in the very best of hands”. No one really felt sorry for the Libs who were unable to convince sufficient voters that they‘d done enough since 2022 to deserve another crack. Your correspondent was thrilled by the early news that the Greens might be wiped off the board. Alas, it was not to be but I am encouraged by their declining vote to observe that Ys, Zs and Millennials have not fallen for their nonsense. But it’s all over now, and our Kristy has retained the Holden Monaro. Ms Van Der Hum may be a metre or two off the pace since her victory in the 1976 Melbourne Cup. Note: you could house the homeless under her corflutes. I think we can forget the Coalition for the next six years at least—three to get rid of the dross (if they can), another three to rebuild the moderate core. The Liberals were never a ‘Conservative Party’: Chifley saw the light on the hill but Menzies fostered his welfare state. Big business also has to rediscover the old so-called Christian Capitalist Ethic (update for other faiths): I am my brother’s keeper.
The ASX200 seems now to be mostly run by no-good, lousy sons and daughters of bachelors. There are, of course, honourable exceptions. Elbow can help by stamping on union excess. The Pope’s funeral reaffirmed your correspondent’s determination to limit the hoards at his own send off. A $100 entrance fee should keep out the riff raff. It also induced solemn thoughts about the inexorable passage of time. I recalled the words of old mate, Clive James: “The eternal is going on right there in front of you, but to contemplate it too long must reinforce the message that one day it will be going on without you”. My good friend, Steve Lambert, has a T shirt which puts it more succinctly: “Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.” Both could invite pessimism but, instead, they encourage me to carry on as usual: to live for the moment, not in a hedonistic sense but as an Existentialist, like another old chum, Jean-Paul Sartre. At that point I popped the Stelvin on the second bottle.
Winners & Grinners
The captain established order and introduced our guests, Jim and Pamela Nasium. Ted’s Joke was about a man unnaturally obsessed with golf. The googly ball was first awarded to Deb Gordon whose drive came straight back having hit a rock (in Wamboin? Most unusual). Pete Harrison’s apocryphal story of his and Steve Lambert’s drives finding the middle of the fairway was ignored. The dummy spit went to Vicki Still on the tenuous ground that she was too ill to play. Yes, we are a sensitive lot. The encouragement award went to the youthful Emma Hansen.
The nine hole comp was won by the team of Pete Harrison and Steve Lambert with a score after handicap of 26.0425 (no, I am not making this up) from 33 off the stick. Runners-up were Ken Gordon and Gerard Ryan 30/27.3 from Deb Gordon and Ken Gridiron 35/28.95. Winners of the 18 hole comp were Nev Schroder and Col Urquhart 69/60.2275 from Paul Griffin and Stephen Miners 74/62.8075 and Tim Barter and ‘Sicki’ Still 74/65.2275. Well played one and all!
Next month, i.e. viz and to whit, June, we contest the Solstice Pennant. Why not join us at the Hall at 12.15pm on Sunday, 1 June for the prompt 12.30pm start? Meanwhile, we pay our respects to the retiring Antony Green, a psephologist’s psephplogist. And now we can all go back to watching the new SBS crime series, Omicidio Con Funghi.
Larry King, golfer
April Competition Results
Sunday 6 April. The day of the Wamboin Mini Masters. But first, your correspondent needs your advice. He is pitching a movie scenario to Netflix as follows: A passer-by observes a robbery taking place inside the pie shop of the Riverina village of Uranquinty. He calls the police who arrive to witness a male person emerge eating a pie and carrying a large bag of same. They call upon him to cease and desist but he refuses to do so. One officer tasers the malefactor but the charge is repelled by the foil containing the pie in his hand. He then throws a volley of pies at the police and, while they are writhing in pain, absconds in their vehicle in the direction of the city of Wagga Wagga. In Baylis Street the miscreant stops a female motorist and steals her car. The woman attempts to drive the police car but collides with the guide rail of the bridge over the lagoon. She is arrested by Wagga police but subsequently ‘unarrested’. Acting on information received, police surround a house at Lake Albert. After a lengthy siege it is discovered that the perpetrator is not there. He is found at Junee and is now helping police with their inquiries. What do you think? Too far-fetched? Anyway, back to golf. You know the format. My old friend, Bobby Jones, was so entranced by it he copied it for a comp somewhere in America.
Back in the Hall, as the captain tapped the keys, we reviewed our world. With the thrilling prospect of exercising the franchise on 3 May we wondered whether voters would give Elbow a second term or return the Coalition or just fritter their votes away on Greens (a cynical underclass) or Teals (intelligent but volatile). This year, with the economy on the ropes, Labor has some lead and blue-banded bees in the saddle bags, but the Coalition is still dominated by those old crocodiles who did little for ten years but lounge on the bank fighting amongst themselves. It’s your call. Clive Palmer missed the boat on registering his UAP for the election so he is now the Porcelain Trumpet of Patriots, apparently.
Emboldened by the braggadocio of their President, US influenzas now feel at liberty to nick our baby wombats. Maybe the Prez could help by bunging a huge tariff on them. The media were agog to learn what was said in the secret talks between Trump and Putin. One asks oneself what could be usefully gleaned from the conversation of two pathological liars. Donnie’s passion-fingered cabinet is at it again. His Security Advisor spills the beans about the attack on Ms Yemeni Hooters and Donald says he knew nothing. But that, of course, is datum: he thinks that tariffs will save America.
The welcome to country is getting a bit of stick in the community. Even some blackfellas think it’s tokenistic. I’ve never had a problem with it. Whenever we have guests we always welcome them on behalf of the traditional owners, L & L King and the National Australia Bank. Old George reckons they definitely need a new containment cell at Captains Flat, having spent a night sobering up in the old one. The rugby season is underway. We wish the Mudchooks well as we anticipate the Lions’ Tour. Readers of another era well remember the dominance of Wallaby teams which included the Ella brothers, Mark and Glen, plus their cousin Gary. Commentators at the time noted that a whole team could have been made up of other talented players in the extended family, such as Salman, Tarrant, Barber, Acap, Isab, Cinder, Umber, Citron, Panet, Legion, Mozzar, Decast and the family dog, Oldy.
Winners & Grinners
The captain called for order and introduced our guest, John Kennedy. Ted’s Joke was about old players and deep bunkers. The googly ball was awarded to Vicki Still for a remarkable bouncing ball. The dummy spit went to Steve Lambert for claiming to have been assaulted by a stick. All those who made the cut were awarded a golf ball. They were Yorz Trooli*, Gerard Ryan, Paul Griffin, Col Urquhart, Tim Barter, Pete Harrison, Rob Gorham and Vicki Still. Winners of the novelty pitching comp were: NTP Ramp Yorz Trooli 1.9m; NTP Tyre Stephen Miners 1.3m; NTP Bunker Yorz Trooli 0.9m; Best Pitcher Yorz Trooli 10.2m. Winner of the handicap comp was Pete Harrison 55/36 from Paul Griffin 53/41 OCB from Stephen Miners 56/41. Our 2025 Wamboin Master is Yorz Trooli with 48 off the stick from runner-up Gerard Ryan with 49.
It should go without saying that next month is May but there, I’ve said it. Join us at the Hall at 12.15pm Sunday 4 May for the 12.30 pm starter’s pistol. Meanwhile, I often wonder what the T in front of Chaikovsky’s name stood for. Terry? Maybe Trevor? No, I think Travis would go better with one of those weird Eastern European family names which are hard to pronounce and impossible to spell.
Larry King, golfer
* nom de guerre adopted by Ken Gordon for the day
March Competition Results
Sunday, 2 March. Autumn, the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, as my old pal John Keats once put it. The sun burned off the mist and the crimson rosellas got most of the fruit. But for the golfers who lined up for the Lewis Carroll Trophy, conditions became mellower when reaching the 19th. The day was sponsored by the Ann and David Bailey and Deb and Ken Gordon whom we thank for the refreshments and prizes. They nominated a handicap comp. Armed with that information, we set off chasing the March Hare across the dusty banks, braes, dales and dells of our ethereal Brigadoon.
Back in the newsroom, as the captain introduced indigenous culture into the maths, (my handicap is now a brolga and two boomerangs) we marveled at the skill and dexterity with which President Trump B.A. is rearranging the world we thought we knew. Who would have guessed that Gaza Keys is actually a prime redevelopment site and that the war in Ukraine is all Ukraine’s fault? Or that Mr Zelenskyy is a dictator? How wrong we all were about that lovely Mr Putin, the benevolent Philosopher Prince of Russia—which we now know includes Ukraine, Belarus, Georgia, Chechnya, Romania, Slovakia, Poland, Waggawaggastan and anything else ending in ‘stan’. Furthermore, the Trumpster insists Ukraine pay for all the aid and the secret peace deal he’s cooking up with ‘bestie’ Putin by giving the US access to the country’s rare earth minerals FoC.
And how will we ever forget the uproarious double act he and JD put on at that White House meeting? Whenever your correspondent thinks of the Trumpet he is reminded of what old mate, W S Gilbert said: “Oh, a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon if you listen to popular rumour. From the dawn to the night he’s so joyous and bright and he bubbles with wit and good humour!” How does he do it? What’s he on? Well here’s a clue. Using AI boosted image enhancement I got a close look at one of the ten thousand Executive Orders signed by the Donald as he held it up to the camera. It said “Executive Order: Big Mac; Royale with cheese; large fries”.
The Doge of Venice, Signore Muks, is making great gains in pruning the payroll of the US Administration. He’s now looking at the Defense (that’s how they spell it) budget. I think he’ll discover they’re getting it on the cheap. According to Chris Uhlmann, writing in the Australian, the American CJCOS is paid A$382,000 pa to control >1.3million men and women in uniform plus a multi trillion dollar arsenal, compared to the more than A$1.1million our guy gets. Admittedly it’s less than the ABC’s cost of employing the alluring Ms La Tooth for five days - at $1.1 so far.
You have to feel sorry for those two fun-loving scamps at Bankstown Hospital. Here’s their chance to wind up an earnest Israeli blogger, so they give it both barrels and the whole world comes down on their necks. What’s happened to our sense of humour?
I am informed by an unreliable source that Bungendore’s vacant corner block was originally destined by Council to be the site of the town’s nuclear fast-breeder reactor. Apparently the fuel rods were to be cooled by reticulating grey water from the treatment works and drip trays from the Lake George and the Royal. An opportunity missed. We’ll just have to hang onto our solid fuel heaters.
Winners & Grinners
The captain issued an Executive Order compelling silence. Attempts to remonstrate were met with threats of WWIII. He welcomed our guests Nick Taylor and Chris Reynolds, and drew attention to the Hall’s new ceiling. Ted’s Joke starred an Irishman determined not to give up drinking (not a good role model, kiddies). The googly ball went first to David Bailey for bending his putter (in sorrow, not in anger – otherwise a dummy spit) thence to Chris Reynolds for the rare accomplishment of hitting himself with his club (a secret flagellant?). The real dummy spit went initially to Col Urquhart for whingeing about his handicap. Inevitably, it then passed to Vicki Still for an infraction of decorum in respect of which the observers were ‘sworn’ to secrecy, if you get my drift. LD and NTP ball winners were Tim Barter 2, Nick Taylor, Col Urquhart, Steve Miners, Brad Dawson, Glen Crafter 2, Tony Bond and Ken Gordon. The nine hole comp was won by Tony Bond 39/28 from Brad Dawson 55/33 and Pete Harrison 48/34. Winner of the 18 hole comp was Steve Miners 85/62 from Tim Barter 72/63 OCB from Col Urquhart 85/63. Well played all!
Next month is April when we stage the Wamboin Mini Masters. Join us at the hall at 12.15pm on Sunday, 6 April for the 12.30 pm start. Meanwhile if you see a small, bearded Ukrainian, treat him with respect.
Larry King, golfer
February Competition Results
Sunday, 2 February. Athletes of Wamboin and beyond gathered in the heat to contest the Desiccation Plate. The day was sponsored by Nev and Chris Schroder and John and Lisa Whitney whom we thank for the refreshments and prizes. The determinant of the day’s competition was stroke play adjusted by handicap. Wearing loose clothing (some shorts were shorter than others) and carrying water bags we climbed aboard our camels and set off into the blue.
Back in the tent, as the captain worked the computer, the big news was the cease fire In Gaza. It was announced by the Qatari Prime Minister, Sheikh Mahommed bin Abdulrahman bin Jassin Al Thani – I’ll say that again in case you missed it – Sheikh Mahommed bin Abdulrahman bin Jassin Al Thani, who was brokering talks between the US Secretary of State, Mark Blinkin (not a confidence-inspiring name for a negotiator) and representatives of Egypt (which used to own Israel pre 1948) on behalf of Hamas. No doubt the protracted nature of the talks was not assisted by the need for Middle Easterners to continually introduce themselves. Word is that Bibi’s ultra Orthodox cabinet members wanted to continue the war. These guys are the same ones who are happy to send other peoples sons and daughters into harm’s way while opposing military service for their own. Charming.
Then there was the Inauguration. Donald Trump B.A. is again President. Welcome to the Golden Era. Let the good times roll. Your correspondent has opened an investment trust to buy real estate in Greenland for mining and other development. More details at info@grabthegreen.com. Mr Leon Muks is cutting swathes through the red tape holding back industry and commerce, encouraging bandwagoners like Mr Suckerberg to dump costly services to the community, like fact-checking the use-by date of the rancid offal sold in his shop.
What was the most notable event of the second day of the Trump presidency? No, not his ultimatum to Putin. No, not the tariffs or pardon for the insurrectionists. The round-up of illegal immigrants? Not even close. It was, in fact, the blossoming of Putricia the malodorous ‘Corpse Flower’ in the Sydney Botanical Gardens. There is a connection. She and Trump are both a bit smelly. We saw two recent disgusting examples of kicking a man while he’s down: in the middle of the LA fires the execrable Trump put the boot into California Governor, Gavin Newsom, while he and the civil authorities were otherwise engaged; at the AO the unruly crowd booed the Jockitch for retiring hurt. Putrid bad form. Until Madison Keys won the Women’s Open your correspondent (not a tennis expert) thought they were a new Gold Coast development. The tech world was abuzz at the release by the Wuhan Electronics Laboratory of a new AI chatbot called Deep Throat. Stocks on the NASDAQ tumbled but came back. I’m hanging on to my Nvidias in case the Chinese app is 1. fake news 2. true but over-hyped 3. True but includes the new embargoed Nvidia chip 4. true but as reliable as my GWM ute.
Winners & Grinners
The captain grabbed our attention by introducing our guest Brad Dawson and welcoming back Steve Miners. Ted’s Joke involved eyesight and memory issues. The Googly Ball was awarded to Matt Hawke for his drive on Lamberts Leap (par 4) which landed on the green, a prodigious effort. Honourably mentioned were Glenn Crafter for a drive so forceful the club head followed the ball! and Rob Gorham for willful damage to the seat at Timber Trap. The Dummy Spit went to your correspondent for expressing disappointment that he never wins LDs or NTPs. I was able to hang onto it, despite stiff competition from Vicki Still and Glen Crafter, by bemoaning the spelling of the name ‘Urquhart’. Because of the heat the juniors were kept inside. LD and NTP ball winners were Matt Hawke, John Whitney, Gerard Ryan, Glen Crafter, Col Urkt, Tim Barter and Vicki Still. The nine hole comp winner was Gerard Ryan 34/27 from Tony Bond 40/28 and Vicki Still 39/29 OCB. Winner of the 18 hole event was Steve Miners 87/62 from Col Urquhart 87/64 and Keith France 81/67 OCB. Following the prize-giving ceremony the Wamboin A Cappella Group serenaded MaryLou Gorham with ‘Happy Birthday’.
Next month we don our Mad March Hair and vie for the Lewis Carroll Trophy. Join us at the Hall at 12.15pm on Sunday, 2 March to sign on for the 12.30pm start of the tea party. Meanwhile, without looking, what is the full name of the Qatari Prime Minister?
Larry bin King bin Wamboin Al Golfer
January Competition Results
Sunday, 5 January. Happy New Year, folks! Let’s hope 2025 is a year we can look back at with affection. Meantime the subject is golf, specifically, the New Year Kick Start Pennant. It was a very hot day so the game was restricted to nine holes and three clubs (less to carry). Our sponsors were those precious jewels, L & L King, whom we thank for the eats and prizes. After it was decided the contest would be determined by stroke play we braved the course, carrying as much water as we could bear and perspiring freely. Some poor devils didn’t return. All we found were initials carved in a tree.
Back in the shade we took on FLAs as the captain tapped at the keys. Some of the ladies (bless ‘em) were complaining of the heat. When your correspondent innocently drew attention to all the hot women in the room he was unjustly castigated (I think that’s the word I’m after, the other one just doesn’t feel right). Fortunately conversation soon turned to current events. That evil vegetarian, Basher al Salaad, is no longer the scourge of Syria. He and his lovely wife, Asma (breathing problems?), fled to the arms of the scourge of Russia, Mr Chamber Pot. (You’re wondering what was second choice, aren’t you?) We wish the Syrians the best of luck. Many of us were shocked to discover that we are anti Semitic because we support a cease fire with the hostages freed, a two-state solution and the return of the ‘occupied territories’. This has been the position of Australian Governments since about 1968. Apparently we’ve all got it wrong according to the Crazy Gang within the Murdoch News Empire. Some Baldrick at the Commonwealth Bank thought up a new cunning plan to soak us: making us pay to withdraw our own savings. Forget for a moment that those savings become loans to others who are charged usurious interest. It’s greed that will kill us in the end, not climate change or thermonuclear cataclysm. Glad to see Council has stamped on the sub-cretinous idea to ban solid fuel heaters. It would have outlawed the fuel rods in my small nuclear reactor. US President-elect Trump has been ‘certified’ by Congress (I hear you sniggering). Of course he’s not mad - just cunning as a noxious maisonette rodent. But his new bestie, who secretes a powerful odour, may be a bordering megalomaniac.
Your correspondent’s new year’s resolutions are: I will not begin a sentence with ‘So’; I will not be tempted to apply for Austudy, Abstudy, Youth Allowance and Disability Support even though payments have enticingly increased; I will not intentionally underpay employees now that it’s a criminal offence; now that SB-J has doubled my wages (again!) I will donate the increment to the ABC Lifestyle division; I will wear body armour when asked to open the batting against Jasprit Bumrah; I will not refer to the Adamant Ant as a ‘cynical populist’ (even though he is); I will not try to emulate Spraygun’s Olympic break at the Wamboin Winter Ball until cleared to do so by her lawyers.
Winners & Grinners
So the captain grabbed our attention by introducing our guests Natalie Klomp from Bungendore and Mac and Helen Adamia from Queensland. Robbie’s riddle made perfect sense, but Ted’s Joke was a bit wet. The googly ball went to Pete Harrison for the rare and magnificent score of an ‘eagle’ on Weepers Drive after recovering from a long but misdirected tee shot. Yes, there were witnesses. The dummy spit was initially awarded to Matt Hawke for complaining about hitting into the long rough at the Hall, which he failed to mow at the working bee. It was passed to your correspondent for politely drawing attention to the fact that he had not been asked to photograph Ms Correspondent awarding first prize to our usual paparazzo (see below). LD and NTP ball winners were Vicki Still 2, Gerard Ryan 2, Natalie Klomp, Pete Harrison, Ken Gordon, Glenn Crafter, Matt Hawke and Robert Thompson. The juniors comp was taken out by Robert Thompson 43/31. Robbie recently finished in 8th place at an international youth golf competition in New Zealand. The senior nine hole event was won by Pete ‘the Eagle’ Harrison 44/28 from Vicki Still 41/29 and Deb Gordon 49/32. Well done, all!
Next month is February when many abstain from certain fluids, kidding themselves it’s doing them good. Please join us at the Hall at 12.15pm on Sunday, 2 February, for the 12.30pm start of the fight for the Desiccation Plate. Meanwhile, with fond memories we bid farewell to the Bungendore Taxi. May Alison and Ned lead quiet and more relaxing lives henceforth.
Larry King, golfer
2024
December Competition Results
Sunday, 1 December. The day after the Great Deluge. But a wet track doesn’t deter Wamboin golfers who turned out in Christmas bling for the Christmas Cup. Those who forgot to ‘frock up’ were thoughtfully provided with seasonal raiment by the day’s sponsor, Matt Hawke (ably assisted by Kath and Cam Hansen) whom we thank for the eats and prizes. After Matt declared a handicap comp we squelched around the course singing hymns, carols and Broadway tunes applicable to the occasion.
Back at the North Pole, as Captain Santa cracked the whip over the elves calculating our scores, we looked around the World as it is. So the Untied States of America’s presidential election was too close to call. I suppose we’ll have to wait until next year for the final count. Your correspondent’s guess is that Trump will romp home. Old George says he’s finally figured out US politics: Republicans are former publicans who returned to being publicans—this may account for all those drunken rednecks who invaded the Capitol Building— and Democrats are bureaucrats who went to so many arcane demos they no longer know what the common people think.
The Australian political year finished with a spurt, didn’t it? Firstly, our old mate Thorpey got the boot from the Senate and gracefully exited with hand held high in a parting gesture. Secondly, Elbow pushed through two and a half year’s work in two days! So what were the snoozers doing for the rest of those 2 + years? Start thinking about who you’re going to vote for in March 2025. As a committed feminist of long standing, your correspondent supports a leg-up for women into the higher ranks of public administration and commerce. I glow with pride to see the ‘gels’ making a good fist of Optus, Telstra, Qantas, Virgin, Coles and Woolies to name but a few. Of course, no one at the top is covering themselves in glory if you listen carefully to that apogee of public discourse, the bar-b-q conversation. Apparently government and industry are both run by ‘nongs’ (a technical term?) of either gender (or both or none). Yet nobody seems to find it astounding that life, the economy and everything still goes on more or less smoothly.
The ‘Executive’ of Queanbeyan Hospital unilaterally banned abortions. In an email discovered by my good buddies at the ABC, the hospital said it didn’t have ‘the supporting framework’ for the procedure which didn’t ‘sit within its delineation’. Drivel viewed from any angle. The Tarago Area Women’s Shed could’ve quickly knocked up a framework and the Pony Club could’ve rustled up some stirrups. As for delineation, we could’ve stuck down another of those coloured lines on the hospital floor, taking you straight to the clinic. Alan Jones may be as guilty as hell but he is entitled under law to the presumption of innocence. Someone tell that to Judge Dredd, the cognitively-challenged assistant commissioner, who spoke presumptuously of ’the victims’. Pvte Richard Norden will never know he was awarded the Victoria Cross for valour in Vietnam. But he’s in good company. Since 1900 more than a third of VCs were honoured posthumously. Of those who survived we don’t know how many died young or lived out lives diminished by injury and trauma. All we know is that great courage walks in the penumbra of great sacrifice.
Winners & Grinners
The captain called for order and introduced our special guest, Tony Bond, athlete and fisherman, but not known as a golfer (so far). Other guests included Clare and David Voyant and Polly and Bruce Styrene. Ted’s Joke was a poem about the evils of alcoholic and spirituous beverages. The googly ball went to Pete Harrison for finding three balls in the rough before finding Steve Lambert’s. (You’re asking yourself why Lambert wasn’t looking. Good question.) The dummy spit went first to Steve for complaining that he rarely if ever won an LD/NTP ball. It was passed on to Scott Mason for seeking a Steward’s Inquiry into an infraction of a rule by an unidentified person. Please note that although Vicki Still did not spit the dummy, she could’ve if she’d wanted to. NTP and LD ball winners were Colin Urquhart 3, Ken Gordon 2, Glenn Crafter, David Bailey, Paul Griffin, Tim Barter and (do my eyes deceive me?) Steve Lambert. Best Dressed on the day was judged to be Cam Hansen. Don Evans won the Lucky Dip prize. Junior nine hole comp was won by Emma 79/34. Senior nine hole comp winner was Ewan Prest 48/26 from Scott Mason 40/27 and Steve Lambert 41/29. Ewan retains the Ned Kelly award until the handicapper smartens up. Victor of the 18 hole comp was Col Urquhart 84/58 from Glenn Crafter 75/62 OCB from David Bailey 84/62.
Next month it will be 2025 (if it isn’t already). In anticipation of a hot day, join us at the Hall at 2.15pm on Sunday, 5 January for the Summer time kick off at 2.30pm.
Larry King, golfer
November Competition Results
Sunday, 3 November. The day of the Wamboin Open and two days before the Gunpowder Plot. My old chum, Reginald Heber, stuffed it up rabbiting on about ‘spicy breezes’ ‘and only man is vile’. Vile was the only way to describe the weather with winds up to 50 clicks or more. The Open was, as traditional, sponsored by the R&A Wamboin Golf Club so we graciously thanked ourselves for the prizes selected by Vice Captain Deb Gordon and refreshments prepared by Joan Mason handicapped by the hindrance of Rob Gorham. The competition featured two divisions, stroke play and handicap. Winners of the Open division get their names on the Honour Board in the Hall. Winners of the Handicap division share the Guy Fawkes Powder Keg.
Back in the Hall, sun-and-wind-burnt, we replaced fluid while the captain’s computer did the sums. A review commissioned by Elbow on Australia’s response to the COVID pandemic fortunately scrutinized both state and federal actions, thereby producing a valuable guide for the future. Elbow wasn’t present when Dimples, the Health Minister, released the report. Possibly, he was organizing an upgrade, a mere peccadillo compared to the feather-light Tanya Plibersek who can fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee, especially if it’s the entirely mythical blue-banded bee used to kill off the proposed Blayney gold mine.
At time of writing, Americans have voted-in a lying guttersnipe as 47th POTUS. Let’s give the Donald points for determination, endurance and stamina. Will he keep his promises of bringing peace to the Middle East and Ukraine while restoring the strength and prosperity of the free world? Or is he just an inveterate bullshit artist? Only time will tell. Your correspondent’s melancholy observation is that since the turn of the century elections in many of the world’s democracies have exhibited infinite regress, i.e. successive elections seem to water down the quality of the polity (if you’ll pardon the alliteration). We have forgotten that democracy means the greatest good for the greatest number. Each time we exercise the franchise the greatest number seems to be shafted by the woke agenda of much smaller numbers. Still in America, rapper P Diddy has been charged with a string of offences including sexual assault. The court must decide Diddy or Didny. As a student of public affairs your correspondent was an interested observer of the recent visit of King Charles and Queen Kamala – sorry, Camellia. I’ve got US politics on the brain. Royalty can still draw the masses, the Monarchists were overjoyed and the Republicans wisely behaved themselves. Star of the show was, naturally, crowd favourite Senator Lidia Thorpe. You can always rely on Thorpey to provide a bit of comic relief. Why she has to don the old lounge room rug is still a mystery. Who’d want to work in the media at the moment? The ABC is a racist purveyor of fake news. The Nine organisation is apparently run by predatory creeps. Ten is still buried under the fallout from something that may or may not, depending on how you balance the probabilities, have happened in Parliament House. Seven’s news staff were also caught up. And a moderate working for the Murdoch outfit (are there any?) would feel awkward touting Trump. By comparison it’s a haven at The Independent.
Winners & Grinners
The captain captured our attention by introducing our guests Jim and Margaret Boots, Ilene and Patrick Dover plus their son Ben, and Grant and Judith Chester. Ted’s joke was a parable about telling the truth. The googly ball went to four people frightened by a crow. The dummy spit went to the Lady Mayoress-in-Perpetuity for interjecting during the telling of Ted’s Joke. It was then passed to Vicki Still for invoking the assistance of a deity in the course of play. Vicki was also awarded the inaugural Annual Dummy for well-earned persistent effort. The encouragement award (read, didn’t win anything) went to five people who asked for their names to be suppressed. LD and NTP ball winners were David Bailey 2, Tim Barter 2, Gerard Ryan and Pete Harrison.
The winner of the junior nine hole comp was Emma Hansen with a score of 83. Winner of the senior nine hole handicap comp was Pete Harrison 46/29 from Kath Hansen 63/31 and Steve Lambert 45/33. Winner of the senior 18 hole handicap comp was David Bailey 80/55 from Paul Griffin 87/70. Winner of the 2024 nine hole Eclectic is Cameron Hansen 24.5. Winner of the 2024 18 hole Eclectic is Keith France 54.5. Ladies and Men’s 2024 Nine Hole Open Champions are Deb Gordon 48 and Gerard Ryan 39. The Ladies and Men’s 2024 Open Champions are Vicki Still 91 and Tim Barter 74.
Next month we host the Christmas Cup. Join us at the Hall in your best Christmas bling on Sunday, 1 December at 12.15pm for the 12.30pm sleigh ride.
Larry King, golfer
October Competition Results
Sunday, 6 October. First, an apology to those thousands of supporters of the Deadly Serious Party. Our absence from the Council election ballot paper was due to the incompetence of the state executive who neglected to provide the NSWEC with our nominations. Can you credit it? What sort of lax outfit would do that? Never mind, let’s stick to golf. It being October we all turned out for the Oktoberfest Stein dressed in our chamois leather shorts and Tyrolean hats, singing snatches and lays of a Wagnerian nature. The day was sponsored by Barb and Pete Harrison with assistance from son Steve, whom we thank for the refreshments and prizes, particularly First Prize, an actual glass Oktoberfest Stein suitably engraved. After it was declared that play was to be scored by the Stableford system, we were borne aloft by the Valkyries and flown about the course, shouting Gotterdammerung* and kicking aside the Nibelungs as we went.
Back in the Beer Hall, just before the Putsch was due to start, we scanned current affairs while the captain scanned our score cards. The bad news for the elderly – not here in Wamboin, the source of the Fountain of Youth – is the projected rise in aged care fees. The best bet is to go for home care assistance. Stay at home and save money by eating pet food. Or take Trump’s tip and go straight for the dogs and cats themselves. 20,000 Haitian refugees in Springfield, Ohio can’t be wrong. The location of the Bungendore High imbroglio is over. The NSW Education Dept has wisely decided to put it “outside town”. No, not actually in Tarago as suggested by your correspondent, but at least out on the Tarago road. The decision protects the beloved Mick Sherd Oval and the primary schoolers from all that vaping, doxxing, cyber bullying and gender confusion. Many of us expressed our disappointment at Council’s rejection of our recommendation that the lookout above Jumping Creek be named after former Councilor Jack Purves. It seems poor old Jack is the forgotten man of local government. Canberra Tourism has opened up a niche market. They’re exploiting the ACT’s absence of consorting laws to welcome bikie conventions, most recently the Rebels and the Comanches. Next it’ll be the Gypsy Jokers, the Hell’s Angels, and the Fourth Reich.
The first chapter of his book ‘Holidays in Hell’ by your correspondent’s old buddy, P J O’Rourke, is entitled ‘Rambles around Lebanon’. Now, in one of those ‘Life imitating Art’ events, many Lebanese Australians are seeing more of this once beautiful land than they need at the moment. With the Middle East getting all the attention, Russian autocrat, Vladimir Chamber Pot, expelled six British diplomats for spying. No one noticed so he’s redefined his conditions for using nukes against Ukraine “if he has to”. Outstanding. Turning to sport, the Churchill Medal was won by the Pink Panthers’ Liam Martin. The Brownlow Medal went to Patrick Cripps of the mighty Blues. The Brown Nose Medal was snapped up by the individual at the racist ABC who added sounds of gunfire to a video which didn’t show any, to spice up a story purporting to show SAS soldiers shooting Afghan civilians.
Winners & Grinners
The captain called for order and introduced our guests, David Searle, Phil Moran and Siegfried and Brunnhilde Ringsykel. Robbie’s riddle referenced blushing fish. Ted’s Joke described how the love of golf transcends all. The googly ball went to Steve Harrison whose otherwise excellent drive at Firebreak Fore chased a car down Bingley Way – and almost caught it. Your correspondent was initially awarded the dummy spit for suggesting that his name was ‘scrubbed off’ the NTP marker at the Hall. He gratefully passed it on to Steve Lambert for the ghastly sin of querying another player’s handicap (gasp!) Vicki Still, it would appear, was a model of decorum throughout (another gasp). NTP and LD ball winners were Gerard Ryan 3, Col Urquhart 2, Vicki Still, David Bailey, Tim Barter and Rob Gorham.
The junior comp winner was Robert Thompson with a score of 42 strokes for 20 Stableford points. Senior nine hole winner was Gerard Ryan 37/22 from David Thompson 52/19. David Bailey was the inaugural winner of the Oktoberfest Stein as victor of the senior 18 hole comp with a score of 87/42 from David Searle 113/37. David B will not have to test the marital bonds by displaying the Stein at home as it will take its rightful place in the club’s trophy cabinet in the Hall. Well done, all players.
Next month is November when we stage the Wamboin Open, an essential part of the PGA Tour. Join us at the Hall on Sunday 3 November at 12.15pm for the 12.30pm shotgun start. Meanwhile, people are worried that Albo’s so-called ‘Disinformation Bill’ will cripple free speech. Fortunately it will not affect these monthly reports based, as you know, on the absolute truth.
* Armageddon with a slightly happier ending
Larry King, golfer
September Competition Results
Sunday, 1 September. The word went round the Wamboin high country: would the powerful winds that stopped the bonfire deter the golfers? Not a bit! They turned up in force to contest the famous Spring Trophy sponsored by Joan and Lofty Mason whom we thank for the prizes and the eats. Competition was to be a ‘Par Event’. I’ll explain: your personal par for each hole is determined by your handicap; then um, er, hmm, like, I mean, you know? And there you have it. Confused (but better informed) we stepped out into the wind tunnel and were tossed around the course for the next four hours. A right bunch of tossers.
Back in the shelter of the Hall, as the acting captain weaved his spells, we assessed the goings-on around us. In Canberra the ADHD - the Attention Deficit Health Directorate - has been caught randomly paying out for services not actually supplied, to the tune of $ 10 million. Another complexity thinker at work? Meanwhile the federal government was on a desperate hunt for more IV saline drips. There wasn’t really a shortage. You can find them at the Therapeutic Goods Administration. While on the subject of lapses of the synapses, what induced the federal environment minister to kybosh the Blayney gold mine by preferring the secret views of 18 anonymous people to the advice of the publicly-identifiable members of the Orange Local Aboriginal Land Council? Closing the gap starts with gainful employment, we’re told.
We did well in the Olympics, didn’t we? We all agreed the highlight of the Games was Spraygun’s interpretative dance of a kangaroo cull. Sadly, Soup Dog and the other wrappers judging her brake linings were culturally incapable of understanding the ecological necessity of topping as many of the dear old macropods as possible to maintain sustainable levels. In the US it’s official: God saved Trump to save the world – at least according to the Donald himself. Kamala may as well pack it in now. ‘Vicarious Trauma’, which is defined as ‘the emotional residue of somebody else’s trauma’ – or the trauma you have when you don’t have any trauma - is all the rage. So if I get upset when someone spits the dummy can I sue the dummy spitter for causing me to experience vicarious trauma? Such drivel is being dragged along under the hull of mental health which is a serious issue not being helped by parasitic hangers on. I can see it clearly: KCs at 20 paces. Our Treasurer, Dr Prince Chalmers, is treading his careful way through a nest of vipers (that’s why they call him Snake Chalmers). On the one hand he’s got the cognitively impaired Greens yelling ‘hang the rich!’ On the other he’s got business groups crying poor. And on yet the other he has the RBA ‘smashing the economy’. Tread carefully, Jim. The CEO of the ABC has quit before time. Uninformed sources say there is no truth to the rumour that he’s seeking pre selection for a safe ALP seat.
The Right-leaning media claims similarities between the Albanese and Whitlam governments: i.e. two leaders beset by idiots on all sides. Your correspondent begs to differ. Although a callow youth in 1972, he recalls Gough and Lance Barnard sworn in by old mate the GG to all portfolios (eat your heart out ScoMo) pending receipt from the caucus of the names of the individuals to fill the 137 ministries. Unfortunately for Gough, the list included an overabundance of ideologues, dilettantes and incompetents. Elbow’s had much better luck. Regrettably, changes over the years have produced a legion of tricky issues (a few even genuine) pushed by some of my fellow activists with ‘special pleadings’ such that it is virtually impossible to get anything right. Plato was spot on, I fear.
Winners & Grinners
The captain established order by introducing our guests, Russell and Margaret Sprout and Archie and Sandra Pelago. Gail Forswins made an unwelcome reappearance. Robbie’s Riddle was about scents, sense or cents. He rounded it off by securing the junior prize with a score of minus 6. The googly ball circulated amongst all who had a ball blown off the tee. Despite the conditions, no one admitted to spitting the dummy. So we gave it to Vicki Still who was at home complaining about not being able to play. There were no LDs or NTPs. The winner of the nine hole comp was Dave Hubbard with a score of +2 from Pete Harrison -2 and Ewan Prest - 6. Winner of the 18 hole comp was David Bailey -3. All players received bravery medals.
Next month we play for the Oktoberfest Stein. Join us at the Hall at 12.15pm on 6 October for the 12.15pm spearing of the keg. And, please, no more singing of the Horst Wessel Song.
Larry King, golfer
August Competition Results
Sunday, 4 August. I had a dream. In my dream I was swimming in the Seine, coming last in the 1,500 metres from Notre Dame to the Eiffel Tower. I was not feeling well. Was it the E-coli, the sleepless night on the cardboard bed or the breakfast of vegan muck from the blender in the village refectory? Suddenly I was caught in a landing net at Pont Neuf where Emmanuel Macron summarily expelled me from France for forgetting the words of the Marseillaise. After waiting for two weeks at CdG for my Rex Aviation flight I arrived back home in Virginia class nuclear submarine. Initially placed into indefinite detention I was released into the community by the High Court on the grounds of being an undesirable alien. Wearing only an ankle bracelet and a pair of those Step One underpants, I was teeing off at ‘Up the Creek’ (par 4) when I woke up feeling cold. Thank God it was the day of the Emperor Augustus Medal in dear old Wamboin! The event was sponsored by The Tradies - Trent Abell ( fresh from his bronze medal in open heart surgery), Don Evans and Col Prest - those clever people who always seem to know what they’re doing but can’t convey the sense of it to me. Competition was to be decided on strokes reduced by handicaps. Firing up our chariots we hit the course reciting poems by Catullus and Martial.
Back in the Forum, as the captain fingered the abacus, we looked around the planet. Things seemed to be fairly stable. Ukraine and Gaza appear to be going smoothly. Mr Zelenskyy has his F16s. Hezbollah, Hamas and the Hooters are standing up awfully well to the regular loss of leadership, and Israelis are getting right behind their upright and charismatic PM. After that debate, your correspondent thought he better start looking for Mr Trump’s good points in the likely event he becomes POTUS again. I hadn’t got anywhere when Donald Duck! (as they now refer to him) narrowly avoided an end-of-life experience with only slight damage to his tin ear for the truth, making his election a lay-down misere. Then Joe pulled the pin, anointing Ms Harris. Kamala is accused of being DEI by the Trump camp. It stands for Diversity, Equity, Inclusion. That can’t be bad, can it? I’d even be happy if those noble goals characterised the output of the ABC whose former chairwoman, Ita Buttrose, has leveled trenchant criticism of bias at the national broadcaster. We were all alarmed by the Great Outage of 2024 which affected our access to web-based services. Blame quickly shifted from the cast of Home and Away to a mob called Crowd Funding. To be on the safe side I changed all my passwords. Websites insist on at least eight characters so I chose Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, just like my old mate, Nick Helm. The great prophylactic fustercluck in the ACT has raised eyebrows. There is to be an ‘internal investigation’. Let’s hope they use the right probe covers.
Winners & Grinners
The captain called us to order by introducing our guests Roslyn, Ryan, Luke and Emma. Robbie’s Riddle invoked the sacred name of the Spice Girls. Ted’s Joke dredged up the agony of night golf. The googly ball was presented to the gentleman (yes, he can play the bagpipes but chooses not to) who shared the apocryphal advice given by a playing partner, viz. 1 eat slowly and chew your food well; 2 be nice to your mother; 3 don’t wear a white hat to a shit fight. There was much spitting of the dummy. Of course the early winner was Vicki Still who, with a snappy side-step, slipped it to David Bailey who decorated a tree with his 5 Wood, thence back to Vicki for quiet abuse, no doubt deserved, of Tim Barter, followed by a hospital pass to Steve Lambert who called for the removal of several trees on the course and finally to your correspondent for falsely claiming that David Bailey had nicked his two NTP’s. The junior comp winner was Ewan Prest 58/30 from the prodigious Robert Thompson 51/40. LD and NTP ball winners were Ken Gordon 3, Col Urquhart 2, David Bailey 2 (that hurts) and Keith France 2. The nine hole comp was won by Pete Harrison 47/29 from Cameron Hansen 46/32 and Ken Gordon 38/34 OCB. Victorious in the 18 hole comp was Tim Barter 72/63 from David Bailey 92/ 65 and Col Urquhart 94/68. Well done, guys!
Next month it will be Spring. Join us at the Hall at 12.15pm on Sunday, 1 September for the normal 12.30pm start of the Spring Trophy. Meanwhile, spare a thought for poor Old George. He wants to be an organ donor but can’t decide between the Wurlitzer and the Hammond B3 with the Lesley speakers.
Larry King, golfer
July Competition Results
Sunday, 7 July. We’re halfway through the year so, of course, we play the Halfway Pennant. The day’s sponsors were those daring young people in their flying machines and sailing boats, Paul Griffin with co-pilot Diane and Tim Barter with Vicki Still at the helm. We thank them for the prizes and refreshments. Play was to be decided by the famous Stableford method. Outside it was cold enough, according to a local automotive expert, to freeze the balls in a bearing. So we rugged up and, pushing our way through the penguins, hit the glacial slopes of a Wintry Wamboin.
Back in Mawson’s hut, next to the fire, we scanned the happening topography while the captain chewed his pencil. We were shocked by the news that the UK’s second largest city, Birmingham, had declared bankruptcy. It seems that street lighting, sanitation and other municipal services have been slashed to the bone. But here in Wamboin Council doesn’t provide any of that. Could the QPRC be heading down the Birmingham track, we asked ourselves? There is a solution. That nice Mr Dutton has promised Australia seven nuclear reactors. Of course the scaredy cats and the NIMBYs are all curly-lipped about it. Some are threatening to knock back the generous offer. This will give the financially-oppressed QP Rangers the opportunity to snap up two or three of those rejected reactors. Projected revenue will allow us to run free of rates for years! And kids that glow in the dark will be much easier to keep track of.
As expected, the Tories were all but swept out in the tidal wave of the UK general election. Let’s hope that Keir Starmer can steer calmer waters than the shoals and eddies left by the blue bloods. That old self-serving equivocator, Nigel Farrago, threw his hat in the ring. He is well-known in Britain as an accessory before and after the fact to that great economic leap forward known as Brexit. Sadly, he got in. PRC Premier and Keeper of the Purse, Li K-chang, has promised Adelaide zoo two new pandas to replace the duds that have failed to reproduce but, nevertheless, kept the kiddies amused for the past eight years.
The Greens’ Atom Ant has threatened to sue federal attorney-general, Mark Dreyfus, for defamation in connection to Mr Ant’s pro Palestinian comments. I’m trying to think of a form of words by which he could possibly have been defamed. Then Senator Payman was bounced for crossing the floor – apparently an unforgiveable sin. It can’t be because she advocates a Palestinian State. Your correspondent thought both sides support that. I think she’s the victim of ALP ‘groupthink’.
Now that the former occupant of the position has resigned, your correspondent is applying for the job of head of Canberra’s CIT. My principal qualifications are: 1. I don’t know any ‘complexity and systems thinkers’ to throw a lazy $8million at; 2. I am prepared to be suspended for two years on full pay of >$300Kper annum. Also happy to stand in as GG at >$700K. On the subject of education, ACT schools, it appears, will henceforth emphasise improving basic skills (presumably the three Rs). That this is news is disturbing. It implies that at some point in the past they were encouraged not to emphasise basic skills – probably by a ‘complexity thinker’.
Winners & Grinners
The captain quietened us down by introducing our visitor, Kieran Sweeting, and welcoming back Tom Roberts after a long absence (probably painting bushrangers). Ted’s Joke was the PG rated comments of Samantha Urquhart about the golf balls won by her husband, Col. The googly ball went to the Fish who claimed never to have played France’s holes or Lambert’s Leap. The dummy spit went to Col Urquhart for complaining that he didn’t get to see Vicki Still spit the dummy last month due to her absence. He cleverly flick passed it to your correspondent, caught bemoaning the lack of a caddy. The encouragement award went to Tom Roberts for his first game in three and a half years. LD and NTP ball winners were Ken Gordon 3, Colin Urquhart 3, Tim Barter and Cam Hansen. The captain briefed us on young Robert Thompson’s spectacular progress in junior golf. Winner of the nine hole comp was Ken Gordon with 24 Stableford points, from Matt Hawke 22 OCB Chris Hansen 22. Winner of the 18 hole comp was Col Urquhart 37 from Keith France 36 and Tony Fisher 28. Well done all players!
Next month honours Roman emperor, Caesar Augustus, so togas must be worn under the bear skin cloaks. But socks with sandals is not a good look. Join us at the Hall at 12.15pm on Sunday, 4 August for the predictable 12.30pm start. Meanwhile, the members of the R&A WGC extend our best wishes to our Sheriff, Rick Remington, for a full and speedy recovery from his recent experience of the extreme sport of myocardial infarction.
Larry King, golfer